Questions - Is Grief Good?
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In the last post, I mentioned two 5-letter words that have more damage than most 4-letter ones: guilt and shame. Today, I want to look at another that is very closely linked, grief. You may not be able to define it, but if you’ve lived some life in this world, you’ve felt it.
Grief is that deep sadness and heaviness that comes with loss. We can feel grief after losing someone we love in death or broken relationships. We can feel it when we lose the ability to do something dear to us. We can even feel it for people and situations we have no relationship with. I once felt deep grieving for a father that I didn’t know at all. Due to a horrible misunderstanding, he is now estranged from his family. I simply wept for the loss of what they used to have and what God wants for family – now gone.
But is it good? Is it like guilt and shame where God erases it and I should hold onto it? Am I supposed to ignore it and get over it?
Once again, God answers us in His Word. Dozens of verses that speak to affliction, grief, anguish, broken-hearted, lament, mourning, sorrow, suffering (emotionally), weeping, groaning…
It is good to grieve!
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die” “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,2a,4)
God’s Word shows us that it is normal to lose it, to cry out to God. He knows you are scared at times. You’re hurt by others, angry, distraught, confused, in deep sorrow. These songs are here inviting us to come to God with it all. He is close.
“I’m worn out from groaning. Every night, I drench my bed with tears; I soak my couch all the way through. My vision fails because of my grief; it’s weak because of all my distress.” (Psalm 6:6-7)
"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit.." (Psalm 34:17-18)
To directly answer the question, yes grief is good. It isn’t happy or enjoyable, but it builds our understanding and appreciation of His presence. I know my appreciation for His grace, His wisdom, His fatherly love have deepened due to grief.
If Jesus did it so can you
Jesus was fully a man. He himself shows us to grieve loss is normal and part of life this side of heaven. In the shortest verse in the Bible "Jesus wept." (John 11:35), Jesus faces the loss of His dear friend Lazarus. He legitimizes grief. For those of us that know Him, the Holy Spirit actually feels it with us and groans over what is happening in our life. We are never alone in our grief.
Is grief ever bad?
Grief is genuine and an unavoidable aspect of human experience. But it can become destructive when it evolves into unresolved despair. Unsupported grief can turn to depression, anxiety, social isolation, and hopelessness.
We can grieve differently. God has told us that grief has its time and turn to Him for comfort, hope, and transformation. Grief, when approached with faith, can lead to a deeper relationship with God and a greater understanding of His plans for our lives. He is the only true remedy for it. He is our only reliable source of comfort and deliverance.
"and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me." (Psalm 50:15)
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." (Matthew 5:4)
We can help others with it as well.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." (Romans 12:15)
"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2)
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
