Questions - Can I Ever Be Free of Guilt and Shame?

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There are two 5-letter words that have inflicted more pain than most 4-letter words. They are guilt and shame. These feelings can immobilize us. They make us prisoners of our pasts. We carry them as extra weight and we are so used to carrying them that we think it’s normal.

They are like an internal song on repeat. We know the lyrics so well… “I’m a bad person.” “I’m to blame.” “I’m a fool or fraud.” “It’s too late.” “I will always feel this.” “I deserve to feel like this.”

Sometime this song gets played and we haven’t even done anything wrong. Many who experienced trauma have been given this song by others. Or, we role play what someone might think about us and carry guilt and shame for something that might or could happen.

What are Guilt and Shame

Guilt is a painful emotion due to disapproval of what you’ve done.
Shame is a painful emotion due to disapproval of who you are.

How did this mess get started?

Started with Contentment

In Genesis 1, God makes the earth and man. He declares them good. They are very good. In Genesis 2, God places the man in a garden and makes the perfect partner for him. Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame. (Gen 2:25).

The word used here for shame is bûwsh (boosh). It is to be disappointed or delayed, confounded, or astonished.

In the garden, they were completely vulnerable and uncovered. There’s no confusion, no embarrassment, no feelings of inadequacy, no anxiety, no blushing. They know who they are. They know who God is and they trust him.  They have everything they could want or need; perfectly content.

Insert Confusion

In Genesis 3, they are then confronted. The serpent asks “Did God really say…” He inserts confusion and then we take hold of it. Eve says, “we should not eat it or touch it, or you will die” God didn’t say don’t touch it. Now we’re already changing what God has said and getting more confused. The serpent inserts more confusion and doubt, “you will be like God, knowing good and evil”. They already are like God. They were made in His image and they already know what they should and should not do.

They are sold Snake Oil to cure an ailment they don’t have. They believe they now need something they already have. They are persuaded that they can’t simply rest in God’s provision. He’s holding out on them, They need to take control. They should not trust God.

Cowering and Covering

I love the Bema Podcast who helped me see this. God is all knowing and all present. He knows exactly when the offense happened. What is God’s response? God’s behavior does not change. He shows up for their daily walk like always. God wants to be with His people. He asks “where are you?” Why are you hiding? Why are you not abiding with me like usual? Now Adam and Eve have changed how they see themselves. Fear of nakedness (being vulnerable and seen), hiding, and attempting to cover. Adam now sees himself and God differently, negatively. God is asking, what has caused you to believe something different about me and yourself? Who have you been listening to?

Consequences and Compassion

Yes, there are consequences to sin. Because they didn’t trust God and wanted control, now they have what they want and things are going to be much harder. But God does not shame them.

“[God] sees our shame and in love He benevolently gives them comfort, even though in reality, they didn’t even need it.” God’s first act towards them in this new state is to cover them. The Lord God made clothing from skins for the man and his wife, and he clothed them. (Gen 3:21)

What Song are You Listening To?

What song are you rehearsing?
What lyrics have you memorized about yourself or how God sees you?

Consider singing the old hymn Rock of Ages.

“Be of sin the double cure, save from wrath and make me pure.” God has so graciously provided you a double cure. For those who trust Him, He not only pays the penalty (removes guilt for what we have done). But He adds the purity of Jesus to you (covers any shame and restores who you are). We may still have to live with consequences of our actions. But guilt and shame can be cast away.

Be free of them once and for all.

If you are naked, come to Him for dress. If you are helpless, come to Him for grace.

“Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.” (Psalm 34:5)